Oh, the things that people say to you when you’re losing weight! Why do they say some incredible statements?
These are based on statements that Mr Weightwatched and I have heard over the years.
Statement:
Go on, treat yourself!
Possible translations:
“I am trying to sabotage your weight loss as my insecurity is more important to me than your health.”
“I am confusing excessive eating with something that would be good for you.”
Statement:
You’ve lost enough.
Possible translations:
“I don’t want you to lose further weight and get healthy for my own reasons. I may or may not be aware of this.”
“I am not used to seeing you so small and may not know what a truly healthy weight looks like.”
Statement:
Relax! It’s just one meal/snack/evening/week.
Possible translations:
“I want you to stop making me look bad by sticking to your plan all the time.”
“I have no idea how important this change of lifestyle is to you.”
“I have no idea how hard you have to try to keep focussed and that going off-plan briefly could scupper you for a much longer amount of time.”
“I want to eat crap but I don’t want to do it alone, and I’ve picked you to persuade to join me.”
Statement:
My cousin Sandra did the same diet and she piled it all back on, and more!
Possible translations:
“I have no idea how much the words falling out of my mouth will make you feel bad.”
“I am worried for your long term health.”
“I don’t think your diet is sustainable long term. I hope you’ve considered this.”
“Meal replacement shakes? Are you mad?”
Statement:
You’re fine just the way you are. You don’t need to lose weight.
Possible translations:
“You’re now a healthy BMI. Stop losing weight.”
“I don’t like that I look fatter in comparison to you now.”
“I want you to fail to get to your target weight as I am dreadfully insecure about my own weight.”
“I love you no matter what size you are. I may not be thinking about the consequences to your health though.”
“If I admit that you’re doing the right thing in losing weight, then I also have to admit that I did wrong for a long time by encouraging you to have poor eating habits.”
Statement:
Who are you trying to impress?
Possible translations:
“I am massively insecure and think you’ll leave me.”
“I am so shallow I can only imagine someone would try to lose weight in order to impress others, not do it for themselves.”
Statement:
It’s the weekend!
Possible translations:
“I like flimsy excuses for overindulgence.”
“I prefer parties to good health. I am not really thinking about what benefits you.”
“I am scared that if our usual routine changes, I won’t like it and won’t like the consequences it has for me.”
“I have no idea that a healthy eating plan works best when it is a daily habit, every day of the week.”
“I am an alcoholic.”
Statement:
Chocolate is made from beans so it’s practically salad.
Possible translations:
“I am trying to be funny.”
“I am belittling your effort with humour.”
“I’ll say anything to try to get you to stop eating healthily.”
Statement:
But you’ve always been this size.
Possible translations:
“I don’t like change.”
“Why do you want to change now? This makes me insecure.”
“I can’t imagine you smaller.”
“Everyone loves you as you are so I have no idea why you’d want to get smaller. I don’t see the health benefits for you.”
“I am worried that you’ll be a different person if you get smaller.”
Statement:
Shouldn’t you be cutting out all carbs/snacks/alcohol?
Possible translations:
“I don’t have much of an idea what a balanced, sustainable diet is.”
“I think I know the answers and I believe your choice won’t work for you, despite any evidence to the contrary.”
“I think losing weight is all about fad diets and painful food plans.”
“I want to make you feel insecure about your entirely reasonable eating plan.”
Statement:
You just need to go to the gym.
Possible translations:
“I know that exercise is all I need to keep slim, so I don’t understand how much you have to focus on food to make your weight loss happen.”
“I have watched too many episodes of Biggest Loser and have misunderstood their heavy emphasis on exercise.”
“I don’t understand that weight loss happens through a calorie deficit, and that controlling your intake will help you just as much as increasing your calorie expenditure.”
Statement:
You weren’t built to be small.
Possible translations:
“I don’t understand that a family history of obesity doesn’t condemn you to the same fate.”
“I don’t understand that a healthy weight range allows for people of small to large bone structure, including your size.”
“I don’t want you to be small as that would mean I have to take a look at what I am doing to myself.”
Statement:
You carry your weight well.
Possible translations:
“I think you look great. I am not thinking of your health though.”
“I like your big boobs.”
“I want to make you feel better yourself right now, without thinking about what would make you feel better long term.”
Statement:
You’ll never manage it, so why bother?
Possible translations:
“I don’t want you to get smaller than me.”
“I want to control you, and you feeling bad about yourself makes that a lot easier.”
“I want you to prove me wrong.” (rare)
“I am a massive jerk.”
“I have no imagination and am a pessimistic berk who likes to share my poisonous thoughts.”
“I couldn’t stand it if you were to succeed where I’ve failed.”
And the answer you should give to the last question is “because fuck you, that’s why.”
These are based on statements that Mr Weightwatched and I have heard over the years.
Statement:
Go on, treat yourself!
Possible translations:
“I am trying to sabotage your weight loss as my insecurity is more important to me than your health.”
“I am confusing excessive eating with something that would be good for you.”
Statement:
You’ve lost enough.
Possible translations:
“I don’t want you to lose further weight and get healthy for my own reasons. I may or may not be aware of this.”
“I am not used to seeing you so small and may not know what a truly healthy weight looks like.”
Statement:
Relax! It’s just one meal/snack/evening/week.
Possible translations:
“I want you to stop making me look bad by sticking to your plan all the time.”
“I have no idea how important this change of lifestyle is to you.”
“I have no idea how hard you have to try to keep focussed and that going off-plan briefly could scupper you for a much longer amount of time.”
“I want to eat crap but I don’t want to do it alone, and I’ve picked you to persuade to join me.”
Statement:
My cousin Sandra did the same diet and she piled it all back on, and more!
Possible translations:
“I have no idea how much the words falling out of my mouth will make you feel bad.”
“I am worried for your long term health.”
“I don’t think your diet is sustainable long term. I hope you’ve considered this.”
“Meal replacement shakes? Are you mad?”
Statement:
You’re fine just the way you are. You don’t need to lose weight.
Possible translations:
“You’re now a healthy BMI. Stop losing weight.”
“I don’t like that I look fatter in comparison to you now.”
“I want you to fail to get to your target weight as I am dreadfully insecure about my own weight.”
“I love you no matter what size you are. I may not be thinking about the consequences to your health though.”
“If I admit that you’re doing the right thing in losing weight, then I also have to admit that I did wrong for a long time by encouraging you to have poor eating habits.”
Statement:
Who are you trying to impress?
Possible translations:
“I am massively insecure and think you’ll leave me.”
“I am so shallow I can only imagine someone would try to lose weight in order to impress others, not do it for themselves.”
Statement:
It’s the weekend!
Possible translations:
“I like flimsy excuses for overindulgence.”
“I prefer parties to good health. I am not really thinking about what benefits you.”
“I am scared that if our usual routine changes, I won’t like it and won’t like the consequences it has for me.”
“I have no idea that a healthy eating plan works best when it is a daily habit, every day of the week.”
“I am an alcoholic.”
Statement:
Chocolate is made from beans so it’s practically salad.
Possible translations:
“I am trying to be funny.”
“I am belittling your effort with humour.”
“I’ll say anything to try to get you to stop eating healthily.”
Statement:
But you’ve always been this size.
Possible translations:
“I don’t like change.”
“Why do you want to change now? This makes me insecure.”
“I can’t imagine you smaller.”
“Everyone loves you as you are so I have no idea why you’d want to get smaller. I don’t see the health benefits for you.”
“I am worried that you’ll be a different person if you get smaller.”
Statement:
Shouldn’t you be cutting out all carbs/snacks/alcohol?
Possible translations:
“I don’t have much of an idea what a balanced, sustainable diet is.”
“I think I know the answers and I believe your choice won’t work for you, despite any evidence to the contrary.”
“I think losing weight is all about fad diets and painful food plans.”
“I want to make you feel insecure about your entirely reasonable eating plan.”
Statement:
You just need to go to the gym.
Possible translations:
“I know that exercise is all I need to keep slim, so I don’t understand how much you have to focus on food to make your weight loss happen.”
“I have watched too many episodes of Biggest Loser and have misunderstood their heavy emphasis on exercise.”
“I don’t understand that weight loss happens through a calorie deficit, and that controlling your intake will help you just as much as increasing your calorie expenditure.”
Statement:
You weren’t built to be small.
Possible translations:
“I don’t understand that a family history of obesity doesn’t condemn you to the same fate.”
“I don’t understand that a healthy weight range allows for people of small to large bone structure, including your size.”
“I don’t want you to be small as that would mean I have to take a look at what I am doing to myself.”
Statement:
You carry your weight well.
Possible translations:
“I think you look great. I am not thinking of your health though.”
“I like your big boobs.”
“I want to make you feel better yourself right now, without thinking about what would make you feel better long term.”
Statement:
You’ll never manage it, so why bother?
Possible translations:
“I don’t want you to get smaller than me.”
“I want to control you, and you feeling bad about yourself makes that a lot easier.”
“I want you to prove me wrong.” (rare)
“I am a massive jerk.”
“I have no imagination and am a pessimistic berk who likes to share my poisonous thoughts.”
“I couldn’t stand it if you were to succeed where I’ve failed.”
And the answer you should give to the last question is “because fuck you, that’s why.”
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